Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
