I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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