Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
