Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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