Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
