Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
