kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
