weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
