Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's great music for shaving your balls
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize