For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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