I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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