I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
