just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
