is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
