i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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