we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
