it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize