I think i peed on brittanys purse
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My pussy is not your playground.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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