Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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