can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
