and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize