I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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