You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
