I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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