What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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