You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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