I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
