By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
