I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize