I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
