so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
