just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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