your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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