Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize