I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the raccoons are back...
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