Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
