Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize