chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
