I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
