help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
