I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
