So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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