Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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