Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
