He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
