and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
