just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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