Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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