Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
