My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
