i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
