KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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