Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
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If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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