Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
