apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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