i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
