He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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