I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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