I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
