I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
