So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just forgot I was standing up.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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