I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
