i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
