I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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