If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
