it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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