If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
