KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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