I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
